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Humorix 2004: the Year in Preview
Submitted by Wonko The Sane on 9 January, 2004 - 03:37.
Wonko's fav's:
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January 15 - World's most powerful Beowulf Cluster built somewhere near the South Pole. With 65,536 Intel Hexium CPUs, each overclocked by 25%, the system takes advantage of the world's most advanced cooling system: the continent of Antarctica.
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March 22 - An MIT student wins a $1 million prize from the Loam Mathematics Institute for proving the Smith Conjecture. While not very useful in itself, this conjecture can be used to prove Moore's Second Law, which states that the total number of lawsuits filed doubles every 18 months.
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May 21 - Several thousand computer science majors graduate from Unix-dominated academia and prepare to enter the harsh realities of a Microsoft-centric world. Those who cannot survive in this dog-eat-dancing-paperclip world will seek refuge in graduate school, where they will remain for the next 12 years.
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August 24 - Microsoft offers Windows 2004 for the low introductory price of $499.95, which includes a bundled computer system at no extra charge. However, according to the End User License Agreement, the computer system is licensed, not sold, and can be recalled by Microsoft if the user violates the license by installing Linux.
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Go read the rest. Especially about the cars. Perhaps Microsoft should go into the toothpick business...
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Related Events
Gee, this is fun.
June 15 - Antartic Beowulf clusters causes so much ice to melt that the sea rises 100 feet, removing most small island nations from the face of the earth and totally reshaping coastal regions (Watch out, Wonko!).
October 1 - Students entering graduate studies reported to be at all-time high. US national debt pushes past $10 trillion mark. Euro exchange rate at $4.50.
December 15 - The entire San Francisco bay area falls into the ocean during a small earthquake. Scientists attribute the seismic event to the sheer weight of the area due to the high concentration of chunky lawyers.